Gone too soon.... Indian Cinema's biggest loss

On 14th June, when I heard news of Sushant Singh Rajput's (SSR) suicide, the first thing hit my mind was how could a person like him commit suicide?

Till now, I was a big fan of his work. My image about him was always that of a smart and logical actor. Not like any other actor who works for money / fame and power. Here was a person who acted simply because he liked acting. I always noticed that he was very passionate about his work. In movies such as Kai po chhe, Byomkesh Bakshi, M.S. Dhoni or Chhichhore, it was very evident that his work ethic is rigorous. He did his homework to the core. His portrayal of the character was immaculate and I used to feel that he was not acting but he himself lived the life of the character. I used to wait for his films. Subconsciously, this made a big impact on me. Unfortunately, I never ever tried to find out more about him until I heard the sad news. 

In order to know more about him, I began to hear his interviews on you tube and started reading about him on the net. The more I hear from him (in the interview) and more I understood about this guy, more I felt intrigued. How on earth a person like him , who was artist (left side of the brain) and ardent follower of quantum physics and astronomy (right side of the brain), commit suicide? He had all the things clicking for himslef. he had different goals (which are mentioned as you read further), he was successful in his own way, he was driven by his passion, there was absolutely no reason for him to end his life.

Though he kept things very simply, he was a kind of person who had mastered the art to radically change the way he lived. He was not driven by fame, in fact fame was a tool for him to get the kind of work (which was his passion) he wanted to do. He was driven by sheer passion for acting. As many times in his interviews he has said that once he started performing arts, be it be dancing or theaters, the power to express himself and be understood gave him high. For him if his film does not do well on Friday, he may feel bad, but he will come back to the same mental state by Monday. 

For him money was important, however only till a specific point. Because after that inflection point, a lot of money could only give him a small amount of joy (this applies to everyone). For him success was not money / fame, in fact they were byproducts of the success. For him success was to enjoy the process, enjoy the each and every moment / experience of the journey of the work. Once you are in such a state of mind, hard work does not feel like hard work. He has many times mentioned theory of relativity. For e.g. if you are playing a video game, 2 hours would pass as if 2 minutes and you will not feel tired of playing a video game, because you like it. Same is the thing with work, if you like the process, if you live in present and don't worry about the result, you will not get tired of working. How often you find person like this. People may preach such things, however, how often we come accross a person who actually practices it? He surely did practice it.

There are so many interesting facets about this guy. He always challenged the status quo. He constantly pushed the boundaries. He simply hated comfort zone. From self dropping out of the Engineering college (after doing well in it) to deciding not to do TV at the time when he was very famous in "Pavitra Rishta" to doing a theatre play immediately after success of M.S.Dhoni movie and rejecting the flow of movies which he was getting. He was ok with uncertainty, because he believed in experiences, he believed in failing for 99 times and stumbling upon something fresh for the 100th time, because the joy of some fresh experience will supersede the sorrow of failing for 99 times. He believed that it is better to fail massively than to achieve mediocre success. 

All his life, he was not doing anything to prove a point to someone else. He was driven by his will and passion. He never believed in rat race. In fact, according to him, if you win a rat race, you are still a rat. How often we hear that. Brilliant. Personally, I have never seen a person (except for that in movies) who is driven by such passion / vigour / simplicity and such thought process. To add to it he aced in all those things which he sets out to do. If Bollywood was Indian Cricket then he was surely Virat Kohli of bollywood. Absolutely no doubt about it. Both idolised Sachin and Shahrukh, both are fierce in their work ethic, both are passionate about their work (to a different level), for both work is play. The way Virat has / will change the Indian cricket, he would have surely changed the face of Indian film industry. Alas for his unfortunate decision to end his life.  

Apart from his passion to Act, he had passion in many other things which none of the current Indian Cinema stars can even think of. His love for Astronomy is very well known. He had a telescope at his house named Meade LX600 which is world's one of the most advanced telescope. He bought it because he wanted to see rings of Saturn. Many Bollywood stars may not even know names of all the planets in our solar system and here is the guy who has such passion. 

Next, he had bought a piece of land on moon. In fact he was the only person in India who has himself bought a land on Moon. Until now I didn't even know that one could buy a piece of land on Moon. Amazing.   

On his twitter handle in Sept 2019, barely 9 months before, he had shared list of his 50 goals in life. One would wonder why on earth a successful filmstar would aim to do such different things. However, such things defined and differentiated him. Few of the goals were  to Learn to fly a plane, learn morse code, do a four clap push up, Chart trajectories of Moon, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn for a week, Send 100 kids for a workshop in NASA / ISRO, Meditate in Kailash, Visit CERN / LIGO, Paint Auroa borealis (northen lights), Spend a week in Jungle, understand vedic astrology, work for free education,  Visit antartica,  Be an ambidextous archer, Make a documentary on Swami vivekanand, Learn Caporia (afro-brazillian martial art).

I am simply speechless after looking at all his goals and by the way, he did manage to achieve many goals of his. This guy was truly made for something great. Now that he is gone and we will never come to know what we have missed.

His twitter #selfmusings was also high on intellect and message. Few impactful #selfmusings are below.

1. An actor wanting to act, thinking more or just about money and success, is like that someone, who wanted to be a cop because he liked guns and power.  
2. To understand, and to be understood, is all we ever asked for...
3. The best wars ever fought were definitely the ones that were intentionally averted.

I can just go on and on. Check out his twitter page. https://twitter.com/itsSSR

After reading about him and hearing him during the interviews, I can only relate to the famous song of 3 Idiots.

"Behati Hawa Sa Tha Woh, Udati Patang Sa Tha Woh
Kahaan Gaya Use Dhundon
Hamako Toh Raahein Thi Chalaati
Woh Khud Apani Raah Banaata
Girata Sambhalata Masti Mein Chalata Tha Woh
Hamako Kal Ki Fikar Sataati, Woh Bas Aaj Ka Jashn Manaata
Har Lamahe Ko Khulake Jita Tha Woh
Kahaan Se Aaya Tha Woh, Chhuke Hamaare Dil KoKahaan Gaya Use Dhundon"

Hope he rests in peace.

18.06.2020